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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I am sorry some peolle are being so mean to you.  It’s obvious to me that you love your dad.  I ageee it’s not fair you are taking such a financial hit.  It’s fine that lots of people do this for free for their family members —- their parent may not have money to pay, or they may be an only child that will eventually inherit everything.  But let’s say OP’s dad has $300K  saved up that will not be needed for his own care.  At his death, it is divided equally between the three kids.  But OP has spent more like $200K in her time and funds to care for him.  Is it hair do nothing sibling gets $100K when OP has to tell her kids “no money for the college you want…”. No it is not and her good sibling and dad agree.

I have a sibling that is under employed and taking on more of the work of caring for my mom.  I really would LIkE to pay him as I feel like maybe he’d get more work if he didn’t have to care for mom, and I am worried about his own lack of retirement savings.  I wish he would take the money.  Instead I get mom meal gift cards and she treats him as a thanks.

I agree with PPs that you should document and try your good sibling yo sign off on expenses (maybe monthly?) so you don’t end up with bad sibling accusing you of elder abuse/theft.  And if there are more big tasks (like cleaning out an apartment) that could be outsourced for a lower hourly rate, you should consider that.

Also note that estate executors get paid for a lot of this stuff out of the estate funds if they do it after death.  No reason why OP shouldn’t be paid for doing this stuff prior to death.  [/quote]

There is zero evidence OP loves her dad at all. She loves his money but doesn't seem to give a rats ass about him. She doesn't seem to have a kind or caring bone in her body. She doesn't see her father as a person at all, just as a bank. She doesn't see why a daughter would ever lift a finger or do a single thing for a parent (or probably anyone) unless they are being paid for it. Acts of kindness don't exist in her world. It is the extreme of an individualistic society where no one else matters at all. Step all over everyone else to make money and move up the ladder even if that means tromping on your elderly and vulnerable father. And the repsonses of people who agree that you should never lift a finger or give any time or support or money or help to anyone unless they pony up cold hard cash is simply more sad examples of this. Too much time listening to narcissistic political leaders who are all about me, me, me, me, me, me and me. These threads are just a sad reflection of people taking that to heart and thinking yes, it should be only about me and I should try and take whatever I can from whomever I can. If my sibling was OP, I would absolutely go after her for elder abuse and financial abuse. [/quote]

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