Reply to Anyone else have what I can only call work trauma?

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[quote=Anonymous]This is OP and this thread has given me a lot to think about.  I definitely didn’t have any buddies or friends in this last job - hard to create connections in a remote environment - and I knew I never fit in.

It just seems that some people are treated more respectfully than I am.  I have gotten so much feedback since I started in the professional world, but now the feedback appears to be at odds: in my last role, I was told to soften my tone/approach (be less direct) and in this new role I was asked to be less flowery and more direct.

I just wish I could find a place where I’m treated as competent and deserving of respect.  I did not get that in my last two roles and it all seems to come down to whether people like you or not, and it seems like I can never get the “right” people to like me.  I don’t know if I come across as threatening or not a willing follower, I really don’t.  But it seems I’m being evaluated on very objective metrics and I just can’t seem to come out on top.

All of this makes me think I just don’t have what it takes to be successful.  I am smart and I work hard, but I realize this is kind of beside the point.  I am too approval-seeking, I am afraid of speaking plainly/clearly/directly, and I am basically always afraid that I’m going to be chastised or criticized for…something.  I have no confidence.  I have imposter syndrome.  And frequently it feels like I’m unwelcome and shouldn’t be…wherever I am.

So much noise, so many unwritten rules, gotta be so careful so as not to piss off the wrong person.  I’m always trying to adapt, unsuccessfully.  I want to be a success and work happily with people to make the mission a reality.  I love getting things done and doing them well.  But despite being liked *in general* I seem to totally lack political savvy and don’t have enough of a guard up. Or something.  Ugh. [/quote]

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