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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents have done their best for me and my children.  They also did the best they could for their own parents, ILs and other family members.

Similarly, I will do my best for my parents, grandparents, siblings, spouse, kids, grandkids.

This is how normal family behaves.

But, OP is giving me White people vibes, so it is always entertaining.    I mean talk about messed up. [/quote]

I agree.  We have a couple of people in our family that don’t lift a finger for the older family members.  Our 95 year old grandmother lives alone and needs daily check ins.  She has hired help part time but most family is close by.   Some family members seem to forget all she did for them while growing up.

There are three grandchildren who have serious relationships with Latinos.  One is married, two long term relationships.   One female, two males, all from Latin America. The difference between them and the White in-laws is night and day.  Our Latino family members were taught to respect their elder relatives and take care of them.  They visit grandma more than her own children.

Americans aren’t great at taking care of their elderly parents or single great aunts. The three generation families I know from my town are immigrants, usually Asian families who take care of each other.  [/quote]

How much do you help?  I look at it as how I am treated.  My mom said some cruel things about my child which was really bizarre as they are a great kid, so nope... they've never once babysat, rarely even buy a gift for the kids, etc... they live close.[/quote]

Yes, it will chill the hearts of adult children when they realize that as kids there was no love in their family, their parents were abusive, their grandparents were not well looked after etc.  Why would they want to be engaged with their families then?   Why would they want to take care of their abusive and manipulative parents?

People are actually reaping what they sow.

It is interesting that our children started to appreciate us lot more once they went to college and their dormmates shared their trauma stories.  Its then they realized that other parents do not make the kinds of sacrifices we made for their children.

These were people with higher net-worth than us, who make their kids pay for some  college costs, especially when these kids are earning some money through internships or summer jobs.  On the other hand our children are made to put their earnings in Roth and also invest.  We are teaching them that through the power of compounding and delayed gratification - they can have a beautiful future and give a good life to their children too. [/quote]

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