Reply to If you're a saver married to a spender

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. For those of you going on about Starbucks or even $1000 purses, our problem is much bigger than that.  I could bury my head in the sand if it were a couple of thousand dollars of discretionary spending.  My spouse is taking out significant debt to finance non-essential things I don't value.  My need for financial security directly conflicts with their need to spend (finance) big-ticket items I don't value.   They believe things will work out, income will continue to grow, and illiquid investments will pay off.   I am holding them back, and they are causing me anxiety.   [/quote]
[b]
If you didn't have a job contributing to the family's NW, would your spouse still spend at the same rate? [/b]

Some spenders tend to have a wake up call when one of the sources of income disappears, because having that extra income in a way provides them a crutch to keep up with their addiction, which is spending for whatever reason (you mentioned big ticket items, but there are many other ways of reckless spending including risky investments,gambling,failing businesses, etc).  There are people who are psychologically wired to tap the money as long as they know it will keep coming in, but usually get worried when money stream dries up and there is massive debt to pay.

[b]I know this may sound weird, but savers in a way enable spenders to keep going[/b], by saving they always "have their back" should spenders really get in trouble with high interest debt or aggressive debt collection, or simply be able to retire, and spenders know this.  If they know there is no safety net and especially if family relies on their income too much many of them who aren't entirely degenerate tend to straighten out.  [/quote]

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