Reply to (Vacation wife) Help. Spiraling.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here- everyone saying it's not my problem. I understand he is not my problem but in my mind, stability for my children is my problem. For example, if he moves to a studio far away and can't drive, then does he stop having custody of the kids? That would be so traumatic for them.

I have all my savings. He drained his savings to pay for his dui.[/quote]

You keep talking about the children's stability, but honestly what you all need is to stop the merry-go-round of relying on him and getting upset when he's not reliable. Give your children freedom from this troubled person. You think your emotions aren't imprinting on them? Wrong. You're a mess, so they're a mess.

Do NOT help him and do NOT count on him. Rely on your own money, downsize if necessary, curtail activities for now. He's a trainwreck, OP, and he will get worse, not better. If he does get better, it will be a long time from now.

You are way too attached to your lifestyle and your children lifestyle. They don't need to be driven to that much stuff. If you can't recoup all the money you spent for their activities, maybe try to find a carpool. But they're young enough that activities don't matter. They can go to aftercare you can't pick them up from school.

Not to mention that you don't want your kid to die from being in a car with a drunk driver.
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