Reply to Have you been able to overthrow the AP?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can’t overthrow the AP, I mean your spouse will leave them as a condition to stay with you, but they will forever be a part of your story.

When one decides to have an AP, I am not talking ONS, but a full blown affair, you understand the consequences of getting caught. That your spouse may divorce you and you accept that because you DO NOT love your spouse in a romantic manner when you engage in an affair. Of course we all lie when caught and say it meant nothing, but think about it, would you hurt your spouse and kids, blow up your life, for something that meant nothing?

I suggest, just serving your spouse with divorce papers and not bothering with AP or the husband, because they don’t care about you or your feelings.  The more energy you spend on the AP, the more importance she has in your life. Your husband is no longer in love with you, so move on to a better life.[/quote]

When people say it meant nothing, what they mean is, I won’t give up everything I’ve built to be with them and not you. It means they consider the other person inconsequential because they won’t leave you for them. What matters to the cheater is how the affair makes them feel, not the other person, who they would not sacrifice anything for.[/quote]

Cheaters are going into this with the understanding that they don’t want to give up the marriage, if they did they wouldn’t be cheating, they would just divorce. Betrayed spouses like to believe the person was inconsequential because otherwise you can’t really forgive the cheater. You have to buy the idea they would not sacrifice anything for the AP, but they are. The cheater is sacrificing the marriage for the AP, because one of the possible consequences of getting caught is your spouse not forgiving and filing for divorce. [/quote]

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