Reply to If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you.

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Reply to "If I had know this was the case, I probably wouldn't have married you."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote][quote][quote][quote]Anonymous wrote: 
OP here. We have a 4yo and a [b]4 mo[/b]. Before #2 came along, #1 was mommy this mommy that, I want mommy. Pretty typical I guess. Naturally, mommy had the bulk of the child care activities. Since #2 came along, I've taken over the care of #1 (yes, it's wayyyy easier than a newborn, i know). #2 also seems to be consoled by mommy only so guess who gets all the carrying duties? Mommy of course. I get that she's tired. I don't really know what else to do. [/quote]
At 4mos out from childbirth, I was just coming off a period of crying in my PJs with leaking breasts, wacky hormones, and roughed-up lady parts. Hell, my son didn't even latch and BF until he was 2 mos old, and he woke every hour or two all night long for months. OP, you need a reality check. I'm sorry, but this is life with little kids. Not many couples are getting it on 5x a week during this time period.
Actually, I would be happy with 1-2 times a week. Even I know 5 times a week is impossible (for us anyway)[/quote]
Jesus, OP, I was prepared to be somewhat sympathetic, but you've revealed yourself to be either utterly clueless or a true asshole. At four months out, many women find sex very painful. Can I repeat that - PAINFUL. As in rips and episiomotomies and healing of scars. Most couples I know, even the most HD, were not having any sex for the first 2 months, and then fairly limited sex until 4 or even 6 mos depending on DW's physical condition. I can't believe your response to this "reality check" is to say you'd be OK with 2 times a week. I realize you are no doubt reacting to perhaps a sexless spell before DC #2 came along, but, Jesus, listen to yourself... Seriously, you are part of the problem here.[/quote]
She could do other things (even mechanized things) to keep him happy. It shouldn't be such a chore and would show she is interested in his very basic needs, which really doesn't have to be all that complex or take all that much time. [/quote]

Well, yes, she could.  But one, everything OP has written has indicated that he is talking about sex as in sexual intercourse.  Two, if we are talking about different types of sexual activity, why are his sexual needs the only sexual needs in the equation.  Oral sex is probably one of the few things that might feel good for DW at the moment.  So why not start with that, DH, to get things moving for both of you.  DW may feel much more inclined if sex is about mutual pleasure instead of just servicing your needs 5 times, wait - whew, only 2 times a week.  And finally,  DH has basically admitted that DW is doing all the care for DC2 at the moment which means that if DC#2 is not a wonder baby, DW is basically getting NO sleep (or at best, not until very recently).  So yes even the smallest "mechanized thing" will be a chore if you are running on 4-6 hours of likely highly interrupted sleep.  How could it not be?[/quote]

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