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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a mother, I am really struggling with this.
My high school son didn't acknowledge Mother's Day. I cooked him dinner that day and all he could do was show me some garments he was hoping I could patch the holes of.
My daughter called from college though, unprompted.

The son has also let his impolite friends talk crap about me for, say, reaching out to them to invite their families to graduation dinner. 
I got a lot of flak from family members for paving the way for the son and his friends to spend spring break at a family property unaccompanied by adults. And these snarky kids give me crap.
The son also complains about me contacting his college for info on his student visa application so that we can start the application sooner than later so that I can book the plane tickets with confidence that the matricultion won't be botched.
I worry if I continue to be the helpful mom, I am creating an entitled a-hole. 
I should just shrug my shoulders and not do anything?[/quote]

You ARE creating an entitled ahole. So stop it. No woman will stay married to him. 
I'd have a serious conversation with him (nonemotional) and then set different expectations. Make him cook dinner and clean up. Tell him expectations for birthdays/mothers day. He's almost an adult so tell him it's time to act like it and take ownership for not telling him this sooner. And tell him: If I don't get the visa stuff worked out fast then I cannot XXXXXX (whatever that is), and explain how that will affect him. Then stick to it.[/quote]

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