Reply to Is there anyway to discuss a spouse's weight gain and not cause permanent damage?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Is there anyway to discuss a spouse's weight gain and not cause permanent damage?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I suspect that men and women would receive this comment differently as a PP said. I, a woman, never did recover from xH’s years-long commentary on my PPD/ self-soothing weight gain. His approach was unvarnished bluntness, like he might’ve used (?) with a guy at work (you’ve gotten fat and you’re not as attractive as you were when we met 14 years ago)

Caveat - while a male might tolerate blunt negative statements better than a woman, and they might take action because men, doesn’t mean their feelings won’t be hurt. It’s really stupid to suggest that men don’t feel hurt. Especially OP’s guy who is obviously a sensitive dude.

[/quote]

I really can't relate to this level of sensitivity. It's just weight, people! I've gained weight. My husband tells me. He loves me. He doesn't say it to hurt me. What he says doesn't make me feel bad in the least. Right now he's the one trying to lose weight, because he gained a bit this year, and he expects me to make comments as to whether his diet is working or not. Shouldn't a husband and wife have that kind of honesty with each other?

What IS it with women on DCUM and how they process weight and figure talk?!?!?! I don't get it.

[/quote]

So you gained weight but didn’t know this until your husband told you? We all find this difficult to believe.

No, of course not. You knew you gained weight. You didn’t require a loved one to announce this. So what WAS the motivation of the spouse in announcing this if not informational?

Stated aloud or not, spouse is telling other spouse that they are became attractive. How that’s not hurtful to hear to the receiver, I don’t know. I mean I know there ARE a small subset of adults without feelings. They have clinical diagnoses. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics