Reply to People who loved their partners/spouses but cheated anyway

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]I'm someone who had an affair while saying I loved my husband. My AP said he loved his wife. Neither of us wanted to break up our marriages.

But "love" and "in love" are not the same, as a PP said. We had familial love for our spouses. Both of us had been with our spouses since high school. By adulthood, they felt more like a sibling than a romantic interest (even though we were still having sex). In fact, the lack of romance, affection, flirting, despite begging my husband for it for years, is what drew me to my AP. But we both considered ourselves to have happy marriages, in that we got along and were enmeshed with our in-laws and couldn't fathom not having our spouses in our lives. Just like you wouldn't want to cut off your siblings for a new boyfriend/girlfriend.

But ultimately we both divorced and have been with each other for 12 years now.[/quote]

In other words, your character is far from great and you don’t want to admit it to or about yourself so have rationalized your decisions. Your lack of any remorse or acknowledgement for how your decisions affected others is astounding. I can only imagine your ex’s response to this story.[/quote]

The cause of our divorce was not my affair - never discovered - but my husband coming to terms with feeling trans.  So.  Accept that there are experiences outside of your own. [/quote]

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