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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know people (30 plus) whose parents are paying for their down payment, co signing mortgages, paying for their grandkids braces, daycare, vacations, ivf, co signing on cars etc. a lot of these people would never admit to how much parental help they are getting despite having “good” jobs. [/quote]

Because it's really nobody's business.  We help our kids.  [b]Our approach is "Die with zero"[/b] and we firmly believe that slowly gifting them the $$ now, in their 20s will be much more beneficial than them receiving a windfall in their 50s+ (they will get that as well).  As long as they in meaningful to them careers and working hard, we will continue to do so.  It's really nobody else's business.  Our kids recognize their privilege and don't brag about it.  One is 26, and knows that their chain of command must know their parents are rich, because they go on at least one very nice vacation yearly with us.  But beyond that nobody knows or needs to know.  They know most people have student loans and have to do it themselves.  
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I know you want to die with zero, but how much do you have as a buffer?  I think many people read these boards and start comparing what they can do for their kids to what others are doing at their retirement's cost.  Is there a number you are holding on to for retirement and end-of-life care?  DH and wouldn't feel comfortable making monetary gifts for our adult children if our net worth fell below $5m, for example.  We are helping his parents now through their final years, and we see how expensive it is.  It also causes some resentment in our marriage that we can't do more for our kids because his parents were irresponsible - they didn't help him with college or anything after he was 18 years old, and now we're funding their retirement years. The most important gift we can give our kids is not to burden them with the cost of our end-of-life care.  [/quote]

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