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[quote=Anonymous]You deserve so much better, OP. No one should treat their partner like an annoyance.

That said, you live in reality, where you have to make tough choices . . . your spouse magically turning into a healthy and caring partner is probably not on offer. Still, it wouldn't hurt to push for counseling, just to see if there's potential that we can't really assess from a few paragraphs. Your willingness to go to counseling should show you whether this is a cry for help (pay attention to me, love me) or an attempt to end the marriage without looking like the bad guy (especially if he likes someone else).

What I wouldn't do is maintain the status quo. Nor would I offer him an open marriage. I'm 8 months into a surprise separation/divorce and my kids are doing OK. It's not what I would have chosen for them, but in hindsight I can see that staying just for them would have been a mistake. I need to show them how to value myself and walk away from people who don't value me.

I know it's a lot to process. If you're not in individual therapy, I would seek that out immediately. And also reach out to a couple of friends or family members. I don't know why, but I suspect you might be keeping your daily reality from those closest to you; you need their support and eyes right now.[/quote]

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