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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DD at Yale. Really intelligent and went to a strong public but not as competitive as some schools, so struggled in two classes. There are some truly brilliant, genius-level classmates and that’s been hard. She’s always been surrounded by smart hard-workers so brilliance was a shock, especially because these are kids who seem to have it all and have brilliance in another area, too, like a sport or playing in YSO. She feels the difference in free time between herself and classmates and that’s tough, because she does have to study and work to get so-so grades compared to the brilliant kids. She did learn not to follow their example and that they have time to party or socialize that she needs to use to study, and that that’s ok

Her experience with clubs and activities has been absolutely dismal so I don’t blame her for feeling a bit unmoored and lonely. Anything remotely connected to her previous interests or activities was too competitive and she was shut out from what she tried to join in the fall. She felt like she lost 3 months of socializing while trying for those activities and regrets that. Even intramurals were weirdly competitive in her residential college and controlled by guys and certain cliques.

She has a handful of friends, works out a lot, and got a job at the library. It’s not the buffet of opportunity she’s hoped for and I know that’s hard on her.
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sorry to hear it's been a tough transition.  i have a Yalie graduating in a few weeks and remember well the intensity of first year.  Is your dd interested in outdoorsy things?  The Rock Climbing Team and Yale Outdoors are AWESOME, so kind and inclusive, and open any and all who are interested.  Those groups pretty central to my dd's social experience and all the kids I met were so nice. She also started rock climbing with zero experience but learned a lot at the gym practice nights and then went on some climbing trips over school breaks which were always  blast.  hope she continues to find her way![/quote]

PP from above - one more idea for her for next year - Yale Farm!  This is really the best place of all on campus, they have workdays on Friday afternoons followed by pizza in the woodfire ovens and music performance, talks etc.  It is really one of the happiest, kindest places I"ve ever been and so many students show up on Fridays in the fall and spring. if you have instagram check out "yale sustainable food program" and you'll get a sense of the vibe up there.[/quote]

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