Reply to Asking if anyone has experienced engaging the birth mom of your adopted child?

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Reply to "Asking if anyone has experienced engaging the birth mom of your adopted child?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Birth mother here - this question is so hard because you cannot categorize birth mothers as a homogenous group. There are women who were from the "baby scoop" generation vs women who placed their children for adoption with the intent of having open adoptions. There are women who have trauma associated with the conception of these kids and also women who have trauma associated with the relinquishment of their children. The question is too broad without knowing anything about the birth mother, which it sounds like you do not, OP. I can tell you that my personal story is that we were out of touch for some years but delighted to be contacted by our birth child at around 19. Like some PPs have suggested, we felt like it was up to the child (not our child, as this child has a family that raised them, and it wasn't us) to decide if they wanted contact. We were thrilled to have more contact. Not every birth mother would be happy for such contact. I wish you the very best of luck with this process -- and it sounds like, since your child is mid-20s, that your primary role is just to support your child's adult wishes.[/quote]

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