Reply to I had unrealistic expectations regarding end of life visitors

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "I had unrealistic expectations regarding end of life visitors"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it's worse with dementia. My mom suffered from dementia for 7 years. Everyone slowly disappeared from her life except her immediate family despite the fact that she was always very social and was always the one to keep in contact with relatives etc. My dad did not have dementia. A good number of people showed up for him in the end but I facilitated a lot of it by making phone calls etc. A handful of people weren't able to show up in the end because they were dealing with their own health crisis. All of it sucks. [/quote]

having been through a lot of end of life stuff with elders i understand this. When dementia involves cruel behavior they alienate most friends before the end. Even when it's just decline, it's a painful reminder to those who don't have many years left. They don't want to spend too much time being sad and dreading what may come in their future. If they make it to the end of dementia-the person cannot, walk, talk or do anything independent. I am glad I could be there for a parent at the end, but if I were 88 years old I don't think I could handle seeing a close friend like that. It's a reminder the end is so very close. At least at my age I can be delusional and convince myself it won't happen to me or I will find a way to do death with dignity. It's easiest, but not easy, when the person is fully there cognitively and at peace with the end. They led a good life, opted out of chemo, are on good pain meds and can laugh with you even in their final days. Been there with an uncle. I am wondering if maybe your dad was like that. It's so much easier to say goodbye to someone who is ready and has wisdom, humor and perspective.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics