Reply to adopting a child who is the product of rape

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[quote=Anonymous]I was told at 10 I was adopted. We chose you is what my mom said. Well as a kid I wondered then who is my mom, why would she give away her baby? I felt like my chest was going to explode when i was told..I cried in secret and didn't talk about any of it for years. When I was 29 I searched and found my birth mom. The adoption agency contacted her to fill out a form and when they called me back and said she wanted to meet me I was told that I was a product of rape. I don't think I was prepared to know, and now looking back I realize how badly it destroyed me. I'm just too sensitive of a person and wish I never knew I was adopted or a product of rape. My adoptive parents were never told by the agency. I'm 42 now and at least in my case I wish I was never told anything and when I was adopted that made my parents..my parents period! If my birth mother gave me up for me to have a good life--don't tell the adopted child or adult ANYTHING that will ruin their life. You made the decision to give the child a better life..Why blow that up in their face? Does it do any good? What benefit does it have to that child? Would you want to harm your biological children with something so negative? I resent ever being told anything..I deserved to have a happy childhood and adulthood with none of that pain..Think before you tell your child something so damaging. You can't take back your words.[/quote]

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