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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Caught DH cheating…"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I wanted to thank those of you who took the time to respond, especially the very lengthy and helpful responses from women going through something similar. I will start figuring out how to get an attorney and find the $$ to pay for it. It is hard to hear that his deceit will mean nothing in our divorce. My primary concern is getting as much custody as I can. I want DCs to have a good relationship with their father but he is largely absent as a dad, always has been, and apparently has been using his frequent business travel as an opportunity to cheat w various women. He is the type that will insist on 50-50 custody for appearances sake but he has no real interest in taking care of young children and will farm them out to a nanny or worse.[/quote] In this case, write the "right of first refusal" into your custody plan. This means that when he is unavailable to care for them, you get them if you are willing and available. And you can keep track of how often he can't care for them on his time, and go back and ask for an adjustment to the custody schedule. But as I said before (I'm "novel" lady), I framed it as being better for my STBX to have less time. And he's struggling even with 43% of the time. When we set it up, I said, "Are you sure you want every Wednesday and Thursday? You like to go out a lot on those nights" and he literally cried and promised that he would plan his things for other nights. Well our kid just texted needing a ride to something next Thursday and he has a conflict. He only has them two nights next week. This is who he is. He [I]feels[/I] that the kids are his priority. But his actions never say that.[/quote]
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