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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You don't have to get a divorce. It will probably be better for you, the kids, and him in the long run if you work it out.[/quote]

I agree. If he’s rich, he will easily remarry a younger woman. What about her? She’s a mom of a few kids.
The house is big enough where they can live separate lives while still married for the kids sake[/quote]

This is weird, backwards advice. If he's rich, she'll get good alimony and child support. I'm the lady who's been writing novels on this thread who is going through an unexpected divorce. In the early days when I was a crying mess, I had a few friends point out the obvious. "So wait, you're going to be fine financially, and you don't have to deal with a man? This seems . . . not so terrible?"  :lol:

I don't need to find some man who's willing to become a stepdad and full time partner. I just need to find someone who likes getting together and having sex a few times a week. Surely this is not an impossible ask. I have a full life on my own. All the research says that women benefit a lot more than men from divorce, which makes sense. There's no reason to stay with an icky cheater who's going to have to pay you your due [I]unless it's what you absolutely want.[/I]

As my STBX explained to me in an attempt to convince me to take his financial offer, I'm going to have a lot more flexible income than he is [cue a tiny violin]. Um, that's because he ran out and bought himself an expensive house four days after he left me, and he also wants to keep our vacation home. He can't really afford two expensive homes AND paying my mortgage and alimony and child support, but those are his choices. So any woman who looks at him and think he's her ticket to a cushy life is going to wish she'd married him 20 years ago like I did.[/quote]

NP but you raise so many good points here. After spending time on this forum, it seems like a lot of men think the divorced women in their 40s are desperate for a stepdad for their kids and for another man. And any woman who has divorced in their 40s with kids knows the drill and probably the last thing she’s looking for at least in the next several years is another man. And why would you need a stepdad for your kids, they have a father figure, even if he is kind of self-absorbed and not around all the time and living in the house it sounds like he’s at least going to be in the kids live so you kinda have that covered.

My divorced friends in their late 40s with teens, they eventually have been interested in dating, but yeah, they’re not really looking for a relationship and certainly not depending on one. This is the phase where women start to enter the no fux left to give era.

Men also think that just because they’re wealthy it obscures the age gap and that women in their 20s will be lining up because of their resources. But you bring up a good point, they want what you wanted when you met him in your 20s, a man that doesn’t have an ex-wife and kids already. Men their own age or a little bit older might not make as much, but they’ve got the potential. Not to say the divorced dads will not have decent dating prospects, but some posters are truly delusional about the average wealthy non-celeb divorced dad. [/quote]

NP. This is so nauseating. I never "lined up" in my 20s for a man because of what I surmised his earning power to be.

This is why women need to earn their own money.[/quote]

Meh, it doesn’t have to be nauseating. Quit thinking so black-and-white. I’m not saying women in their 20s are lining men up and judging men on their assets, but of course people choose based on similar education levels, goals, plans for the future, absolutely when women want to settle down and start a family it’s something that they take into account.  It’s no different than people taking looks into account or sexual attraction.

It shouldn’t be the only thing but certainly it is one factor. [/quote]

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