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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hard question. I think you have two.

One is about seeing him near death. I don’t think that is mandatory. But if the teen/tween wish to, prepare them.

The other is about going to the funeral. Absent other factors, final exams, for instance, the older two, for sure. The youngest would probably not want to be left out.

But give them choices: such as not viewing an open casket. And let them know what is expected…do they want to speak? Do they want to write something for someone else to read? Do they have stuff to wear?

[b]I did not get to go to any grandparent’s funeral…and I resented being basically prevented from doing so when I was actually an adult…not your question, but may be worth a brief ponder at this difficult time.[/b][/quote]

I posted above.  I know someone who wasn't allowed to go to her grandma's funeral.  She still resents it.she was 16 at the time and was left at home while her parents went for a few days.[/quote]

DP. I just want to chime in and add that I was 5 when my grandmother died, and I've always been resentful that my parents didn't take me to the funeral.

I remember her long flower garden of bearded irises, having sleepovers at her house and getting to share her bed, and I remember my uncle telling me that she died while my parents were with her at the hospital. Those are my memories of her, but even as a small child they were enough to make me really sorry not to have gone to her funeral. I'm almost 60, and it makes me sad again just thinking about it.[/quote]

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