Reply to interesting post in fbook group that caused a fight.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Helping in this situation wouldn’t be helping or just being a grandparent. It would be starting over as a primary parent all over again. [/quote]

I am so surprised a bunch of moms who are barely done raising kids are so willing to start over again from scratch. Are we just servants for life with no life of our own or personal aspirations? I guess so.[/quote]

I achieved my personal and career aspirations as best I could.  Now in a career  plateau.  I could 100% be a working primary carer again because I have experience now.

I traveled the world as a DINK.  I don't look forward to retirement so I can do anything specific.  My family is small.

My assumption from this story is that the teen couple will probably not make it long term as a couple.  I'd want to stay close to any grandkid, assuming that there probably won't be many in my future.  Also because the teen mom is likely to be unstable.[/quote]

all the mommy martyrs are ready for the second round it seems. [/quote]

I’m sorry you are such a miserable, unhappy person. Sometimes I read posts from people like you and just feel so sorry for you all. It’s so depressing to think of someone like you who has never experienced happiness and contentment and never will. So sad. [/quote]

NP-I am in the middle on this. It is pretty atypical for women who were very hands on, involved moms to welcome the idea of doing it all over again full time. I think that considering the kids' attitude and expectations, this all sounds like a slippery slope to in fact become a complete co-parent financially, logistically and emotionally, which I personally would find depressing and overwhelming. It doesn't mean I am a bad person or mom for thinking that. I look forward to becoming a grandma some day and being involved, but absolutely would not do it on a co-parent level.[/quote]

When you are “helping” your teen parent you are absolutely going to be on a co-parent level in at least one category if not more. You are either agreeing to house them (or pay for their housing), taking care of the child full time while they go to school/work (or paying for their childcare costs), paying for or providing their food etc…This would in no way be a typical grandparent situation-it would be signing up for at least 18 more years of full responsibility over another human being.
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