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[quote=Anonymous]Had first dc in 2012, last dc in 2019. I have always worked out of the home, as has dh (specialist physician with a seemingly inflexible schedule). We have moved a lot for different jobs/training, but we have always made it a point to have commutes of 20 mins or less. When we had first dc, my commute was 35 mins each way for 2 years, but I only worked 3 days a week, so that worked out. Since about 2016 I have worked 5 days a week.

Every time we move, we immediately cultivate a network of child care providers and we make sure to use them regularly, even if we don't need them, so they will be more likely to help when we are in a pinch.

I had a more "mommy track" job for awhile, working 35 hours a week. Now I am at the 40 hour mark with a job that sometimes requires later hours, but we have found that there is flexibility once you have paid your dues (and if you ask). In our case, DH was first able to switch his hospital schedule to 6:30-4 from 7:30-5, so he could get the kids from aftercare at 4:15 (whereas I could stay at home with them till they got on the bus and then it wasn't such a long day). Now he works 4 days a week with the same schedule, so there is a day for routine medical/dental appointments, etc. If he has an evening call, I can now work the afternoon remotely to meet the kids off the bus. The flexibility won't likely be there right away, but if you slog through for a year (and have a nanny in the meantime), there may be something more workable at the end.

Also, I used to think that DH had no ability to contribute more domestically than he did given the constraints of his job - but then I saw that the moms he worked with somehow did manage to do more domestically. So DH and I talked about me ramping back up, he was on board, and magically he can do more - I don't think he realized it either, since there is so much pressure to conform to a more outdated model as doctors. But he corresponds with the teachers and signs them up for sports and finds time to meet them for lunch at school. [/quote]

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