Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Absolutely agree with a PP that they will cheer at women exiting the workforce, it's part of what they want.

Probably they didn't give this a thought.

Of course they did. Vance believes that women belong at home and should have more babies. He has said so explicitly.

Url or citation?

I find it amusing that women want school to be all day to “help” working women.

But nearly all teachers are women and most have kids. Who will watch their kids when they are working all day?

Also amusing are complaints about day care costs. Daycare workers are almost 100 percent women and insanely underpaid with almost no benefits. They are way overworked in a stressful hard job for very little pay and working moms want them to get paid even less and work longer hours.

I don’t think making it worse for teachers and daycare workers is the answer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gotta do what ya gotta do.

We were spoiled with remote jobs.

But moms have been doing this for decades before.

Put your big girl pants on and learn to juggle a job and kids like the rest of us.

Your kids will get older and it gets easier. They will get more self sufficient.

Np. No moms haven’t been juggling like this. My grandmas were fired in the 50s as soon as they got pregnant. My mom and dhs mom worked part time/nights/weekends and made a lot less than they could have. Is this what society wants for women still?

Stupidly I thought I’d have more choices when I grew up. I should have chosen a major and career that would allow for part time work or had hours that fit schools. Dh and I both had flexible jobs with 1-2 days of telework that allowed both of us to be there for our kids and those are gone now.

Yes, they have. Multiple of us have told you that our own moms were juggling exactly like this while raising us. I’m GenX and my mom was doing it in the 70s and 80s.

Check your privilege.

Yes and no. My mother worked but my siblings and I did not have nearly as many activities as kids do today. I can still remember asking her if I could do a SAT course and she said no way was too much money and commitment. It was one activity/sport a season.
I remember calling my parents when I was sick and not being able to get a hold of them and having to go back to class and suck it up. My kids have the sniffles and I’m told they need to stay home (thanks covid!). My grandparents and aunts also lived 10 minutes away and could easily help when we needed since they retired at like 55. My husband and I have no family in this area (like many people today) making it really difficult when we need last minute care.

We also didn’t have a million half days or 2 week Christmas break (my parents are always shocked by this) or even a week spring break. Agree with other posters that the public school calendars and hours make it really difficult for working parents… and I know most of the after care in our area has a waitlist.

Are you from the United States? I am 50. Both my parents worked fulltime and they had no family support in the area. Christmas was two weeks. We had a week long spring break. We also had teacher workdays and halfdays in the 80s. I was in tons of activities, two dance classes per week, piano lessons, played a sport. It really isn't that different, and, on top of it all, they did not have any sort of advanced technology like the internet. They didn't even have email. Continue to live in your fantasy world that you have it so much harder, it really is not true. Nobody is forcing your kids to do activities. That is on you.

My kids were born in 2008 and 2010 and unfortunately they were in daycare and then SACC for long days. We were lucky to get into SACC in kindergarten for both kids.

I took the brunt of the unplanned sick days because my husband's job was inflexible for last minute issues. Sometimes we did have to do the split schedule if we both absolutely had to work. He took the off days that were able to be planned in advance like spring break and the two week winter break.

I've long had telework flexibility though- was 4 days a week at home since 2017 and at least 2 days of TW for years prior. Going back to the office full time with no flexibility whatsoever is definitely a change.

My understanding is that child care really dried up and has never recovered since Covid. Hopefully the infrastructure will come back; daycare and SACC waitlists were long back when my kids used it, so I can't imagine today.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i liked another person's idea that schools need to be revamped as well...

... someone said this RTO is good for men, but not good for working mothers.

if they really cared about keeping women/parents in the workforce, they would revamp the schools. if they really cared about birth rates, this is something that needs to be change. its ludicrous in 2025 that the school day is roughly 8am-3pm, with a ton of holidays and breaks, but the typical work day is 9a-5pm year round.

How is it good for men? Many are involved fathers. If you are working full time you need child care.

i legit said parents in the workforce in the above quoted section

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Absolutely agree with a PP that they will cheer at women exiting the workforce, it's part of what they want.

Probably they didn't give this a thought.

Of course they did. Vance believes that women belong at home and should have more babies. He has said so explicitly.

I wonder how he squares those feelings with his own wife, who worked until very recently.

Anonymous wrote:You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.

Ehhh… Agree.

Like many others, we usually had used a nanny, preschool + aftercare, and now school + aftercare. For sick, snow, and holidays, we would use PTO, babysitters, or camps.

Because we didn’t lean out early in our careers, we also have more flexibility with childcare because we have more discretionary income, and we have lots of control over our daily work schedules.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Absolutely agree with a PP that they will cheer at women exiting the workforce, it's part of what they want.

Probably they didn't give this a thought.

Of course they did. Vance believes that women belong at home and should have more babies. He has said so explicitly.

You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gotta do what ya gotta do.

We were spoiled with remote jobs.

But moms have been doing this for decades before.

Put your big girl pants on and learn to juggle a job and kids like the rest of us.

Your kids will get older and it gets easier. They will get more self sufficient.

Np. No moms haven’t been juggling like this. My grandmas were fired in the 50s as soon as they got pregnant. My mom and dhs mom worked part time/nights/weekends and made a lot less than they could have. Is this what society wants for women still?

Stupidly I thought I’d have more choices when I grew up. I should have chosen a major and career that would allow for part time work or had hours that fit schools. Dh and I both had flexible jobs with 1-2 days of telework that allowed both of us to be there for our kids and those are gone now.

Yes, they have. Multiple of us have told you that our own moms were juggling exactly like this while raising us. I’m GenX and my mom was doing it in the 70s and 80s.

Check your privilege.

Yes and no. My mother worked but my siblings and I did not have nearly as many activities as kids do today. I can still remember asking her if I could do a SAT course and she said no way was too much money and commitment. It was one activity/sport a season.
I remember calling my parents when I was sick and not being able to get a hold of them and having to go back to class and suck it up. My kids have the sniffles and I’m told they need to stay home (thanks covid!). My grandparents and aunts also lived 10 minutes away and could easily help when we needed since they retired at like 55. My husband and I have no family in this area (like many people today) making it really difficult when we need last minute care.

We also didn’t have a million half days or 2 week Christmas break (my parents are always shocked by this) or even a week spring break. Agree with other posters that the public school calendars and hours make it really difficult for working parents… and I know most of the after care in our area has a waitlist.

Had first dc in 2012, last dc in 2019. I have always worked out of the home, as has dh (specialist physician with a seemingly inflexible schedule). We have moved a lot for different jobs/training, but we have always made it a point to have commutes of 20 mins or less. When we had first dc, my commute was 35 mins each way for 2 years, but I only worked 3 days a week, so that worked out. Since about 2016 I have worked 5 days a week.

Every time we move, we immediately cultivate a network of child care providers and we make sure to use them regularly, even if we don't need them, so they will be more likely to help when we are in a pinch.

I had a more "mommy track" job for awhile, working 35 hours a week. Now I am at the 40 hour mark with a job that sometimes requires later hours, but we have found that there is flexibility once you have paid your dues (and if you ask). In our case, DH was first able to switch his hospital schedule to 6:30-4 from 7:30-5, so he could get the kids from aftercare at 4:15 (whereas I could stay at home with them till they got on the bus and then it wasn't such a long day). Now he works 4 days a week with the same schedule, so there is a day for routine medical/dental appointments, etc. If he has an evening call, I can now work the afternoon remotely to meet the kids off the bus. The flexibility won't likely be there right away, but if you slog through for a year (and have a nanny in the meantime), there may be something more workable at the end.

Also, I used to think that DH had no ability to contribute more domestically than he did given the constraints of his job - but then I saw that the moms he worked with somehow did manage to do more domestically. So DH and I talked about me ramping back up, he was on board, and magically he can do more - I don't think he realized it either, since there is so much pressure to conform to a more outdated model as doctors. But he corresponds with the teachers and signs them up for sports and finds time to meet them for lunch at school.

Anonymous wrote:i liked another person's idea that schools need to be revamped as well...

... someone said this RTO is good for men, but not good for working mothers.

if they really cared about keeping women/parents in the workforce, they would revamp the schools. if they really cared about birth rates, this is something that needs to be change. its ludicrous in 2025 that the school day is roughly 8am-3pm, with a ton of holidays and breaks, but the typical work day is 9a-5pm year round.

How is it good for men? Many are involved fathers. If you are working full time you need child care.

i liked another person's idea that schools need to be revamped as well...

... someone said this RTO is good for men, but not good for working mothers.

if they really cared about keeping women/parents in the workforce, they would revamp the schools. if they really cared about birth rates, this is something that needs to be change. its ludicrous in 2025 that the school day is roughly 8am-3pm, with a ton of holidays and breaks, but the typical work day is 9a-5pm year round.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gotta do what ya gotta do.

We were spoiled with remote jobs.

But moms have been doing this for decades before.

Put your big girl pants on and learn to juggle a job and kids like the rest of us.

Your kids will get older and it gets easier. They will get more self sufficient.

Np. No moms haven’t been juggling like this. My grandmas were fired in the 50s as soon as they got pregnant. My mom and dhs mom worked part time/nights/weekends and made a lot less than they could have. Is this what society wants for women still?

Stupidly I thought I’d have more choices when I grew up. I should have chosen a major and career that would allow for part time work or had hours that fit schools. Dh and I both had flexible jobs with 1-2 days of telework that allowed both of us to be there for our kids and those are gone now.

Boomer and Genx women definitely juggled like you. Get a grip.

On the other hand, just because they juggled doesn't mean that's the standard of what we should continue to strive for. It's like brushing off the invention of the dishwasher because grandma has always hand washed dishes. Women should always be happy for technical advances that help make life easier for future women.

Seriously!! Social progress has never happened because a group becomes complacent b/c things are better than 50 years ago. We deserve better!