Reply to My mom is always picking time with my sister over time with me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like you have a great group of friends. It’s time to focus more on your family and friends and not worry so much about your parents and extended family.

Do you actually want to spend more than a week in the summer with your parents?

Is your sister divorced? Are you? It sounds like there is more to this dynamic.

If it was me, I’d really drop the rope with them. They just aren’t that in to you and your kids. And that’s ok. Focus on the people who are. [/quote]

Neither of us are divorced, we strangely both have husbands with pretty significant mental health issues (that don't hugely impact visits and do in roughly the same way) - which is probably part of the dynamic now that i think about it.  Neither of us get the adult support or partnership you typically would from a spouse, both our marriages are very one sided support so maybe we each look for that mutually supportive adult relationship more with our mom than typical.  I don't turn to her with my problems (she's never been great with emotional stuff and I worry of creating a negative/downer tone to our interactions) but could overweight wanting to feel important and like a priority to her b/c my husband is incapable of prioritizing anything beyond his own needs

Historically no I didn't want more than a week with them but I am really acutely feeling the clock ticking down on their good time so do want to make the most of it.  I have a flexible and remote job some more time with them doesn't come at a cost of other trips (they also live in a great summer spot and are fun when they visit us so a week with them doesn't feel like a drag) [/quote]
This makes me think there could be additional stuff going on with her spouse that you don't know about[/quote]

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