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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Crying, screaming, and even hitting are developmentally normal at certain ages so it is hard to tell given the vagueness what is normal/not and what is just a developmental stage/personality/a problem.

Swearing is not, and I would say cursing/swearing reveals something more about your friends than anything else. Plenty of people can come off as put together or normal parents but might go home and be completely out of control — cursing at their kids, berating them, and otherwise being emotionally or physically abused.

Their “good” kids don’t tell you anything — I was a “good” kid to emotionally immature parents because I knew making a “mistake” (being a normal child) would end in abuse for me. My parents were always complimented on being excellent parents and came off as normal but they were terrible at home. My older brother — with severe behavioral issues, who drinks, swears, has issues with domestic violence, really tells the truth of what was going on in my house.

Modeling is the answer here. Smack your kid and yell/berate/curse at them? You’ve just normalized that for the rest of their lives[/quote]

Perhaps that kid has parents like yours, but it very well could be that the kid picked it up cursing from other kids and continues to do it because the parents do not approve. There’s no way, from the outside, to tell which scenario is happening inside the home.[/quote]

The OP replied that the kid is 10 — still young to be exposed to explicit language, so again causes me to ask what are the parents really like and what exactly is that child being exposed to at home (either by their parents saying it, or exposing them to explicit media).

You are right - there is no way to tell what is going on at home, so to jump to the conclusion that these are perfect people with a bad egg is just as much as a reach as me saying a kid isn’t born learning to curse and rage but is probably picking that up in their home environment from parents who know better than to show their friends that side of them during 1-2 hour ocasional public outings.

More than anything, bad parents like this are desperate for approval from their peers and put public perception over the wellbeing of their children. It’s easy to write it off as “the woes of gentle parenting” but the reality is that there are a lot of actually bad parents that care more about what their friends think than how their kids feel, and it is so so stupid. [/quote]

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