Reply to How is it possible a 43yo was born in the 1950s?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Chill out. I get it. But you could just be nice and say "I'm not sure what we got her: Jake is in charge of her gift this year."

Your answer is understandable but your tone is confrontational, unecessarily. [/quote]

Agreed. If there is not further context that would merit the hostility, this is an overreaction.

It's also good to remember in situations like this that women like OP's SIL have been indoctrinated into this set up (where women are in charge of all the relationships and gifts and holidays and remembering birthdays and sending thanks and all that) and that they are also a victim of this system. It's possible your SIL never really had a chance to make other choices if her family is like this and her community is like this. And getting yelled at by you is not going to change her mind, it will just make her double down that her way is correct because at least it's no rude.

Whereas if you politely set boundaries and explain your DH handles gifts for his family, that is far more likely to register with her as being normal and is more likely to lead her to think more expansively about how this stuff should be handled.[/quote]

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