Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you were willing to cheat on your husband, with both your crush and this new woman you had drinks with (if it had worked out). That’s not fair to your husband (or did I miss where he said it was okay?). Infidelity is infidelity, even with a same-sex partner.

I guess I’m not understanding the cheerleading on this thread. You might feel more connected to your husband if you shared your feelings.

100% agree. Having been in your husband’s shoes, I agree your behavior is inappropriate and disrespectful.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you were willing to cheat on your husband, with both your crush and this new woman you had drinks with (if it had worked out). That’s not fair to your husband (or did I miss where he said it was okay?). Infidelity is infidelity, even with a same-sex partner.

I guess I’m not understanding the cheerleading on this thread. You might feel more connected to your husband if you shared your feelings.

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP I just went through this last year and it really threw me for a loop. I realized I liked women and I spent a ton of time What Does This Mean etc etc.

It took me a while to come to my own conclusion which is—if I dated now I’d date men and women. I am not prone to crushes but they could happen with men and women.

Now in regards to my actual life, does it matter? Do I want to be with anyone except my specific husband? No. So the rest of it, the bi/lesbian part can sort of integrate with out being that relevant. I compare it to this—if I dated, I’d have a list of things that attracted me. One of them could be gender. One could be a shared love of sailing. Neither really matter bc I don’t want to date, I checked in with myself and perfect life as it is.

That all said, being 39 and realizing I’m queer/bi whatever threw me for a major loop. But you can feel that way and not be one of those late in life lesbians her blow up her life and marries a woman… unless that’s your thing! But there’s also a really fair choice of being out late and ALSO looks around and actually likes their life with a guy and so it’s fine and you just carry-on and have more self knowledge. That story is not as fun to tell, but I think very relevant.