Reply to Divorced People: What age were your kids when you divorced? Impact?

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Reply to "Divorced People: What age were your kids when you divorced? Impact?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]2 and 4. Awful [/quote]

OP here.  Would you have waited?  At 2 and 4 they don't fully understand it, just that mommy and daddy are not in the same house?  When (if they did (recover)?[/quote]

I divorced when my kids were 18 mos. and 5 y.o. Best decision ever to do it you g. The younger kid has no memory of living with Dad - in part because he's so young but in part because Dad never took any custody, so no overnights.  It makes me a bit sad that younger one never had a live in Dad, but Dad was not a responsible person so, I have been happy to avoid the effects of living with Dad, which likely would have been substance abuse and mental illness.

Older one was definitely heartbroken at the split. Dad did come to visit and have dinner with them 3x a weekend and one weekend day to play, so I think once that pattern was stabilized it affected her less.

In my case, the Dad was a bad guy (no physical abuse though). So, there really wasn't a choice about staying longer until it would be "better" to divorce.  It was important to get out quickly and establish a healthy household so that they could at least have 50% normal healthy life. I am glad I did it early so that by MS & HS, the kids were very stable. [/quote]

You got lucky. Many men come back and want custody, especially when kids are older and easier. Custody battles ensue [/quote]

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