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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Siblings don't put up with this
even if parents don't shut-it-down, siblings will
[/quote]

I’m actually really unsure of how our kids should handle his misbehavior.

They are older and bigger so I tell them they can’t just hit him back. Plus we have a strict no hitting or hurting people rule in our house.

They have asked me what they are supposed to do when he starts getting mean and beating up on them.

If I have my eyes on him obviously I intervene. But if I don’t, how should I advise them to handle the situation?

I didn’t answer their question because I didn’t know the right answer.[/quote]

Bumping this as I really am seeking an answer for this specific question.[/quote]

You need to model how to do it when you intervene. I would take his hands and hold them firmly (but not too firmly) and make eye contact and say clearly "No hitting. We don't hit." And then move past it. An older kid should be able to do this with a 4 yo as long as it's just like "pesky little bro" aggression and the kid isn't out of control or anything.

I would also tell them to simply remove themselves from the situation as an alternative. If he starts hitting they can just get up and say "I don't want to play if you are hitting."[/quote]

I saw OP said this was helpful.  I agree with this approach.  Temporary social shunning helps enforce norms. And you should verbalize the norms when announcing the exit.  Tell your kids to inform you also, so you can keep eyes on your nephew while he's in a fighty mood.[/quote]

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