Reply to I really, REALLY dislike my 2 year old

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[quote=Anonymous]With your older daughter, she might have enjoyed following rules, routines, and people pleasing.

Younger daughter does not enjoy these things, so she likely won't naturally enjoy behaving and will not "see" routines and therefore having her follow one will take a lot of work. Easy parenting works for easy kids. It does not with hard kids. Start with OT blogs/Instagrams and incorporate tips from them. Things like a visual schedule that clearly shows her what the daily schedule is can help. Don't expect miracles, this will be a slow and infinite process.

Setting yourself up for success is key. Don't try to please the 8 year old and the 2 year old at the same time. Just because "some" 2 year olds can handle restaurants doesn't mean yours can or will. Instead of saying "she's bad in restaurants," say "I haven't taught her the skills to understand how to behave in a restaurant" and/or "she does not have the mental maturity yet to handle it and that's okay." If she does have hyperactive ADHD, her maturity will always lag.

Make sure the nanny is doing tons of "heavy work" or big movements with her during the day. She needs to exhaust her body and brain to regulate. Swinging, pulling heavy things around, a long bedtime routine, lots of exercise, no screen time (or none anywhere near bedtime), helping her memorize preschool material, etc.

I would definitely do preschool, just to help her work on her social skills early and have teachers help you identify what's going on. If the nanny just hangs out at home or the same park every day that isn't going to be enough.

Definitely do evaluations because then you know what OT strategies, etc. to apply but you might start with tips for sensory seeking and/or hyperactive ADHD based on what you've said.    [/quote]

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