Reply to Inadvertently invited someone to my son's BDAY party. Help!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I think you owe your son a huge apology. And I hope you two have the kind of relationship where in a couple of years from now he'll be able to tease you about your screwup and you'll both be able to laugh about it.

You can't un-invite the boy. Here's what I'd do:

[b]When he arrived I'd say hi to him, and let him know that I know he and DS haven't been friends, but hopefully this party can be the beginning of a fresh start.[/b] It's okay if this party doesn't lead to a lifelong best friendship, but maybe it can lead to co-existing peacefully in school and around town. (And I'd warn DS that I was going to do this.)

Then, I'd pull aside an adult at the party (DH, FIL, my best guy friend, etc.) and point out the boy. And I'd tell them "I need you to make this kid your project for the next two hours. You need to stay right on top of him, and if he even BEGINS to step out of line, I need to know you will be all over it, shutting him down immediately. DS  really went out on a limb having this kid, he's tense about it, and I don't want this kid in ANY way wrecking today's party." If the kid teases DS, the Watcher pulls him away from the group, tells him no teasing and if he does it again then you'll have to call his parents to pick him up early, then sends him back to the group. If he plays too harshly, same thing - gets pulled away, gets a talking-to, etc.

After the party, maybe at bedtime or something, I'd talk with DS about how proud I was of him dealing with a curveball graciously, being a good host no matter what, and being the bigger person (even though I accidentally forced him to do it). Then I'd tell him he earned something he's been wanting - to go to the movies with a friend without a parent, to go mini-golfing, some special outing. [/quote]

Whoa, terrible idea (except the last point about congratulating the son.)  Pull the child aside as soon as he arrives and essentially tell him he's a little shit and is on notice?  Thats as bad as uninviting him.  You treat all your guests the same, period.  Thats the lesson OP should be teaching her DS.  If you tell the kid thats he's a bad kid and is essentially unwanted, how do you think he will behave?  And tell his mother?  Who will tell the other mothers.

Same with the freakout of having some kind of body guard stand guard.  I think the parents can handle this.  Keep an eye out.  Don't jump on every little thing.  This is NOT an opportunity for revenge, it is an opportunity to start over again.

Since th kid has behaved badly in the past its particularly essential that the grownups in this situation behave well.[/quote]

Read what the PP wrote again and then ask yourself how on earth you translated that to telling him he is a little shit and is on notice.  You are bizarre![/quote]

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