Reply to Discipline and your spouse - if one person is much more strict...

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[quote=Anonymous]OP- I feel for you. I think you may have reached out for help, but are now getting more than you bargained for.  Personally, I think you maybe wrote in frustration and things sounded worse than they are, and possibly some are over-reacting.  On the other hand, it does sound like you and your DH need to come to some middle ground for the sake of your kids.

I think if you raise the issues with DH you should ask to talk about how "we" parent.  And focus on how/when to discuss/disagree.  Also, define some baseline expectations.  If sitting at the table through the meal is really important to DH, you can live with that, but maybe agree that as long as they stay seated throughout the meal, they don't have to finish what's on their plate.  Or, if finishing the dinner is what is important to DH, see if he can live with no other food after the meal until the next scheduled meal/snack if the minimum is not eaten.

Yes, your examples show maybe DH has some trouble with anger, but I agree that we all do things we aren't proud of from time to time when parenting.  It is a 24/7 commitment w/o and dress rehearsals.

As for your parent's comments, you may want to talk with them more specifically and ask if there are other incidences that have them concerned.  Think about them as a whole, without making excuses.  If you are uncomfortable, seek help, even if just for yourself.  If on balance most are differences of opinion, thank your parents for their input and move on.  If you and DH come to terms on a few givens, share them with your parents.  "DH and I have decided it is important to us that the children learn to sit through dinner.  Please help us reinforce this by... "

Good luck[/quote]

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