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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Does anyone worry that this will happen to them when they are old? I try so hard to be a good parent and love my children so much. But what if one day, when they are grown up, they start to feel like I made mistakes, they are annoyed by me, my stories are boring etc etc etc

I fully understand and support cutting toxic people out and establishing boundaries but I, nonetheless, worry sometimes that, despite my best efforts, I’ll be the old person everyone is sick and tired of[/quote]

Hear you!

Putting aside truly abusive parents (who of course are owed nothing but retribution), I am often taken aback by the lack of compassion many posters have for their parents.

I wonder if they will feel differently when they get old. It is a scary, challenging phase of life. All about loss.

I was raised to believe that families help each other and that love comes with responsibility to have the other’s back. It is startling that so many adult children just resent their parents for getting old and frail before they leave this earth. [/quote]

It’s tough because parenting norms change dramatically over time, something we are doing now could be condemned when we are old or we could be emotionally available in the ways we think we should be but find later that it simply wasn’t enough or “done right”. And people can have really annoying personality traits that old age exacerbates with cognitive decline.

This isn’t an argument for not being frustrated with parents that didn’t measure up, I completely understand OPs frustration, but I also get the guilt of feeling that way. It’s a complicated situation and hard for everyone involved. [/quote]

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