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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DD has gone from a sweet, popular girl with sports, clubs, and honor roll to a straight up baddy.  I suspect she vapes, she's dating a rebel type boy and is just letting everything slip. How do we stop this train?? She says she's in love.  She has new friends now. Doesn't seem as into her sport or clubs though we still insist she attend.  Before anyone blames our parenting, we have clear boundaries and those are respected but we don't know how to control the crowd she's selecting to be with - in the name of love!!! lol [/quote]

Throw everything you can at this. Right now. 
8th grade and sometimes 9th can be the last bits of childhood before everything starts to really count. 
I told my son each year what mattered. Before 5th grade - learning matters, perfect grades don’t. 
Middle school - get your confidence. Find what you like to do. Learn study skills. Talk to teachers. Don’t stress about As. 
9th grade+ - it’s counting now. Grades, study skills, activities, social skills. It has varying effects on life later on. 
I’m a big believer in focusing on what matters. Your daughter needs to understand the level of maturity she is expected to have and where she can get support. 
Friendships are important but most will not carry through life. Family life matters. Sports you love matter. Learning matters. Vaping interferes with all of this. And will affect her health when she’s older. I’d focus on this and the boyfriend. 
My son must prioritize 
Health - physical and mental
Family life (we don’t ask much but if there is an emergency it matters)
School
His sport (wants to be recruited)
Friendships
Romantic relationships.

Dating just has to be last. It’s hard. It seems unfair. It won’t always be this way but for now, it must be.[/quote]

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