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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Considering Divorce "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So much fallacious thinking on here. Your DH made a very serious mistake. He should take steps to ensure that it never happens again, rules to prevent arguments from getting so hot, etc. As bad as his threatening words were, they do not mean that A. He will now hit you. B. He will now hurt your kid. C. He is going to kill you. His bad actions do mean he has to get his f*ing act together or life as he knows it is over.[/quote] DH is responding to this like he understands I am serious about ending our marriage because of how seriously I take this incident. He has not attempted to love bomb, nor did he even tell me about the counseling and anger management. I only know because there were claims reported to our insurance and I get notifications through our HSA, he does not know I’m notified, which tells me it’s not performative. And all of that is great, it’s quite literally the least he should do for himself. I just don’t know if I’m interested in sticking it out past this. It’s like a switch, I do not feel the same about him as I did before this happened. Part of why I’m even considering divorcing is because I’m not worried about splitting custody. Kid will be taken care of well in either household. DH is responsible as a Dad. What does concern me is I don’t like the idea of new people being added in new relationships because step parents are either wonderful or terrible, and I don’t want my kid to have to share resources with step siblings. [/quote] This isn’t a decision that needs to be made all at once. I am getting divorced now and it took me years to know this was the right choice. I think ambivalence and going back and forth is normal. It’s very rarely clear even when it’s just awful… it’s a huge deal, especially all those factors you mention. Plus when my kids were the age of yours I would not have wanted to see them half the time. The youngest will be 7.5 when we do this and it feels way too young. [/quote]
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