Reply to Did anyone here not make close friends in college despite living on/near campus all four years?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I made a couple close friends. But I didn't have that great group of friends you're still friends with years later. I was lonely a lot and on the fringes of other groups, plus I had one good friend I roomed with junior and senior year which helped.

[b]For me I think it was that I spent too much time with a boyfriend my first year.[/b] But I also just wasn't very adept at making friends? And I did not really mesh with anyone on my freshman hall - [b]there was a big clique I wasted too much time trying to be a part of.[/b] I should have realized sooner they didn't want to include me and branched out more.[/quote]

I could see how both those things could impact it.  It’s not that people don’t make friends after freshman year and groups change but often the seeds are planted freshman year. You meet a friend of a friend and become closer the following year or you live with the friends you made freshman year and become closer as a group.  Many people are a little less open to making new friends and want to spend their energy on current friends once they feel like they have a set friend group.  It makes it harder if you are trying to find friends after the  “everyone is interesting and a potential friend” stage has passed freshmen year.[/quote]

yes, having a boyfriend in college was a major mistake for me (in retrospect). He was very nice and we were honestly more like good friends than anything (never very serious in the romantic sense, always knew deep down we would break up eventually and not get married) but I wasted so much time with him that I could have been investing in female friendship.  Now I'm in my 40s and really have no one to reminisce about college with.  I am dying to call him up just to chat but we're both married with kids so I don't. But boy would I love to just chat with him.  So many of my college memories are tied up with this person---- from classes to road trips to sporting events, and on and on...[/quote]

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