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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How old is this woman? [b]If she has a child she’s old enough to not need to be a birthday princess and have every single person present to watch her blow out candles. [/b]Not saying OP did things perfectly but SIL sounds exhausting.

Also, I’m not a germaphobe and would probably go anyway, but at probably at least one person from that family was contagious with the flu at the party. [/quote]

On the flip side, the event was a birthday party and OP "attended."  If someone came to my birthday party I would assume they wanted to be there for the singing/cake, even if they wanted to sit outside for most of it.  Otherwise, why did OP attend at all - she didn't interact with other attendees or even eat dinner with the rest of the family.  The only reason I would think she came was for that one face time/ family picture moment, so I don't think letting her know "it's cake o'clock" is necessarily attention seeking.[/quote]

She went because her DH guilted her into it and told her she could stay outside.[/quote]

Right, and I think 90% of us agree that she should have stayed home.  But since she did go, I think it's ridiculous for people to be calling SIL every name in the book for . . . telling a guest at her birthday party that the cake cutting time has arrived.  It's [i]significantly[/i] more ridiculous of OP to attend a birthday party but pout away from the group all night than for SIL to say "hey, the cake is coming, do you and nephew want to come in and sing?"[/quote]

I think the only thing OP did that was really wrong was say elderly FIL can come outside. That was beyond wrong. All the other stuff is a perfect storm of bad choices and stress. OP apologized, rightly, then SIL should let it go. There are times when I think people glom onto something just to be able justifying being angry and staying angry.[b] I'm guessing SIL doesn't like OP[/b], which is the heart of the real problem.[/quote]

I read it the opposite way - OP doesn't like SIL (and possibly any of her in laws) and took her pique at DH for "making" her go to the birthday dinner by being dramatic and making the party about herself.  "Can you guys come in and sing?" - "Bring the cake to me"  . . . "Well, then bring the cake [b]and[/b] FIL to me" - this is really bizarre behavior.  It's not April 2021, no lives were on the line.  As much as people seem to think SIL is outrageous for daring to celebrate her own birthday, I think the same people are ignoring that OP made SIL's birthday about herself.[/quote]

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