Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is this woman? If she has a child she’s old enough to not need to be a birthday princess and have every single person present to watch her blow out candles. Not saying OP did things perfectly but SIL sounds exhausting.

Also, I’m not a germaphobe and would probably go anyway, but at probably at least one person from that family was contagious with the flu at the party.

On the flip side, the event was a birthday party and OP "attended." If someone came to my birthday party I would assume they wanted to be there for the singing/cake, even if they wanted to sit outside for most of it. Otherwise, why did OP attend at all - she didn't interact with other attendees or even eat dinner with the rest of the family. The only reason I would think she came was for that one face time/ family picture moment, so I don't think letting her know "it's cake o'clock" is necessarily attention seeking.

She went because her DH guilted her into it and told her she could stay outside.

Right, and I think 90% of us agree that she should have stayed home. But since she did go, I think it's ridiculous for people to be calling SIL every name in the book for . . . telling a guest at her birthday party that the cake cutting time has arrived. It's significantly more ridiculous of OP to attend a birthday party but pout away from the group all night than for SIL to say "hey, the cake is coming, do you and nephew want to come in and sing?"

Anonymous wrote:Apologies over text are meaningless and you all are drama queens.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So first adults who throw themselves a birthday party and expect everyone to celebrate them are losers. It’s very cringe and sad.

Second , your mistake was in going. Your husband got tired of everyone saying where’s Jane and took the easy way out. I would have stuck to our decision and reminded DH nope we already decided not to go.

Third, it was rude and weird for your sister in law to demand that you enter to sing happy birthday to her and cut the cake. Attention deprived loser.

Rather than demanding FIL come out though, I would have held fast on nope not coming in. If she got pushy, I would have asked ‘do you really need me to sing to you? Because frankly, you aren’t 10 years old so I don’t get it.

Move on, forget it and next time when you decide something

Best response.

OP, your SIL is selfish and self-centered.
With a sick kid at ILs with the flu, she should not have required and attended a party.

If she's mad at you for long, good riddance!!!!

Anonymous wrote:A few questions -

if you were so worried about secondary exposure to the flu - why was it suddenly OK for your kid and the rest of your family to hang out with her family? Was the exam over?

I don't understand the difference between hanging out at the party but outside vs the cake cutting. Were people inside for the most part and OP was talking from the patio or was FIL inside by himself with everyone outside? I guess I don't understand the distinction for the cake cutting.

I also don't understand why the exam taker couldn't just stay home by himself.

But basically yes you WAY overreacted and text apology doesn't really count. But icing out your entire family is also overdramatic.

Anonymous wrote:Your DH is the one at fault.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So first adults who throw themselves a birthday party and expect everyone to celebrate them are losers. It’s very cringe and sad.

Second , your mistake was in going. Your husband got tired of everyone saying where’s Jane and took the easy way out. I would have stuck to our decision and reminded DH nope we already decided not to go.

Third, it was rude and weird for your sister in law to demand that you enter to sing happy birthday to her and cut the cake. Attention deprived loser.

Rather than demanding FIL come out though, I would have held fast on nope not coming in. If she got pushy, I would have asked ‘do you really need me to sing to you? Because frankly, you aren’t 10 years old so I don’t get it.

Move on, forget it and next time when you decide something

Best response.

OP, your SIL is selfish and self-centered.
With a sick kid at ILs with the flu, she should not have required and attended a party.

If she's mad at you for long, good riddance!!!!

Exactly! I agree too. I generally don't force people into uncomfortable situations epseically for something as stupid as singing me a happy birthday. I actually don't think OP had anything to apologize for. FIL was able to get himself to the restaurant somehow, but not the extra 10 feel. Give me a break.

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe an adult needs a group of people to sing her happy birthday and watch her blow out candles.

Anonymous wrote:First, it should be "DH and me".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is this woman? If she has a child she’s old enough to not need to be a birthday princess and have every single person present to watch her blow out candles. Not saying OP did things perfectly but SIL sounds exhausting.

Also, I’m not a germaphobe and would probably go anyway, but at probably at least one person from that family was contagious with the flu at the party.

On the flip side, the event was a birthday party and OP "attended." If someone came to my birthday party I would assume they wanted to be there for the singing/cake, even if they wanted to sit outside for most of it. Otherwise, why did OP attend at all - she didn't interact with other attendees or even eat dinner with the rest of the family. The only reason I would think she came was for that one face time/ family picture moment, so I don't think letting her know "it's cake o'clock" is necessarily attention seeking.

She went because her DH guilted her into it and told her she could stay outside.

Right, and I think 90% of us agree that she should have stayed home. But since she did go, I think it's ridiculous for people to be calling SIL every name in the book for . . . telling a guest at her birthday party that the cake cutting time has arrived. It's significantly more ridiculous of OP to attend a birthday party but pout away from the group all night than for SIL to say "hey, the cake is coming, do you and nephew want to come in and sing?"

I think the only thing OP did that was really wrong was say elderly FIL can come outside. That was beyond wrong. All the other stuff is a perfect storm of bad choices and stress. OP apologized, rightly, then SIL should let it go. There are times when I think people glom onto something just to be able justifying being angry and staying angry. I'm guessing SIL doesn't like OP, which is the heart of the real problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is this woman? If she has a child she’s old enough to not need to be a birthday princess and have every single person present to watch her blow out candles. Not saying OP did things perfectly but SIL sounds exhausting.

Also, I’m not a germaphobe and would probably go anyway, but at probably at least one person from that family was contagious with the flu at the party.

On the flip side, the event was a birthday party and OP "attended." If someone came to my birthday party I would assume they wanted to be there for the singing/cake, even if they wanted to sit outside for most of it. Otherwise, why did OP attend at all - she didn't interact with other attendees or even eat dinner with the rest of the family. The only reason I would think she came was for that one face time/ family picture moment, so I don't think letting her know "it's cake o'clock" is necessarily attention seeking.

She went because her DH guilted her into it and told her she could stay outside.

Right, and I think 90% of us agree that she should have stayed home. But since she did go, I think it's ridiculous for people to be calling SIL every name in the book for . . . telling a guest at her birthday party that the cake cutting time has arrived. It's significantly more ridiculous of OP to attend a birthday party but pout away from the group all night than for SIL to say "hey, the cake is coming, do you and nephew want to come in and sing?"

I think the only thing OP did that was really wrong was say elderly FIL can come outside. That was beyond wrong. All the other stuff is a perfect storm of bad choices and stress. OP apologized, rightly, then SIL should let it go. There are times when I think people glom onto something just to be able justifying being angry and staying angry. I'm guessing SIL doesn't like OP, which is the heart of the real problem.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is this woman? If she has a child she’s old enough to not need to be a birthday princess and have every single person present to watch her blow out candles. Not saying OP did things perfectly but SIL sounds exhausting.

Also, I’m not a germaphobe and would probably go anyway, but at probably at least one person from that family was contagious with the flu at the party.

On the flip side, the event was a birthday party and OP "attended." If someone came to my birthday party I would assume they wanted to be there for the singing/cake, even if they wanted to sit outside for most of it. Otherwise, why did OP attend at all - she didn't interact with other attendees or even eat dinner with the rest of the family. The only reason I would think she came was for that one face time/ family picture moment, so I don't think letting her know "it's cake o'clock" is necessarily attention seeking.

She went because her DH guilted her into it and told her she could stay outside.

Right, and I think 90% of us agree that she should have stayed home. But since she did go, I think it's ridiculous for people to be calling SIL every name in the book for . . . telling a guest at her birthday party that the cake cutting time has arrived. It's significantly more ridiculous of OP to attend a birthday party but pout away from the group all night than for SIL to say "hey, the cake is coming, do you and nephew want to come in and sing?"