Reply to When successful men with demanding jobs (doctor, lawyer) divorce, what usually causes it?

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Reply to "When successful men with demanding jobs (doctor, lawyer) divorce, what usually causes it?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As the daughter of a doctor father who is married to a lawyer, I caution against over-generalizing. Both are wonderful men, husbands and fathers. Present and caring. [/quote]

We aren't talking about all doctors or all lawyers. We're talking about the ones in the highly demanding jobs -- surgeons and other specialists with very long hours and a lot of stress, Big Law partners. People whose jobs are pretty much always going to take precedence over family, by definition. If your dad was a pediatrician and your DH is a fed, that's a different scenario. Also, of course it's not every single person. I do know people in these jobs who seem to have happy home lives and long marriages. But I also know a lot who have strife or are divorced, some who are estranged from kids or don't have very good relationships with teenage or adult kids. These jobs can very easily lead to absent partners and fathers, and that's not great for family relationships. A person has to be extremely intentional about how they set up their life to keep their family central and be present while maintaining a job where working 6-7 days a week with often long and late hours, which is what these jobs are.

Also, this is generational due to shifting expectations regarding women and careers, and men and family. I think it used to be more common for a man in one of these jobs to have a SAHM who was not only totally happy to be home but was fulfilling her own life goals -- to be a homemaker in a family where her husband has a very prestigious and well-paying job. Obviously there are women who still feel that way, but it's not as common, and societal pressure can make it harder. I know some Big Law partners whose wives have gotten restless as their kids have gotten older, and want "second acts" in careers, but their husbands' jobs are so demanding it doesn't leave a lot of room for this. That can cause conflict.[/quote]

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