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Reply to "Right to resent MIL's guest list intrusion?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We're hosting Easter brunch this year and [b]MIL is being pushy about including my spouse's (adult) step sibblings.[/b] Neither my spouse nor I like the step sibblings and they don't particularly seem to like us either (so hopefully they just won't come). I just feel like if we're hosting we should be able to decide the guest list and if she doesn't like it she doesn't have to come. But we'll probably just do it anyway. Not thrilled. Mostly just venting. [/quote] I mean, I can understand where she is coming from. But what do you mean when you say she's being pushy? She asked to invite them and... then what?[/quote] She asked spouse if they were coming. Spouse deflected till she directly asked if they were invited, and then got upset when the answer was no. Spouse doesn't do well with anyone being upset so wants to just invite to keep the peace and just hope they don't show. [/quote] But what do you all normally do? If the Easter tradition is that everyone gets together and you've decided to only invite half the family then you're putting her in an awkward position. Maybe hosting the family isn't for you if you want to draw lines in sand and force the grandparents to choose. So much for peace and renewal and the spirit of Easter.[/quote] This. If they are always included you can't just decide you're hosting this year so you can cut off the people you don't care for. I mean you can but that's incredibly rude. If the family is not typically all together then MIL is being obnoxious expecting you to invite them if she doesn't. [/quote] Easter is not usually a big thing on either side (most of us aren’t even Christian). Some years we have big gatherings (if mil or my mom host), other years nothing at all, sometimes just a few people.I was excited ab hosting this year bc my son just turned 3 and he’s finally starting to get into holidays. The steps barely acknowledge his existence. [/quote] So you're not Christian, but are deciding to host an "Easter brunch" that excludes half the family and you want to show your son how to really get into the holiday by settling scores and shunning certain family members? Well, ok then. Kids are usually more the merrier but I can see you all care more about making a point than family togetherness. Why bother? Just have breakfast on Saturday and only invite MIL.[/quote] I want to have a nice family holiday with fun secular easter things with actual family who love and care about my son. Neither spouse nor the step siblings consider each other family, hence why they did not invite us to their recent wedding, which is fine! If they show up, that's nearly half of the whole gathering who don't even acknowledge him (or us). [/quote] Cool, they should invite your family for a nice fun secular passover and not invite you. [/quote] dp Why are you being so mean? I agree with op. Invite MIL and let her decide if she wants to come or not[/quote] I'm sure this has everything to do with keeping the peace with MILs husband. He wants his own children there and won't come if they aren't there. And then MIL will side with her husband and skip. So, OP isn't going to get the idyllic secular Easter she's fantasizing about.[/quote] OP here. I honestly would've been fine if MIL/FIL boycotted, a gathering of nine is still nice, especially for the size of our house. But as it turns out, we did extend the invitations to keep the peace and the only one who is apparently coming is the wife of one of the step brothers, go figure. I guess they're having marital problems, and/or she'd rather spend her holiday with us, which is not surprising knowing what I know about her husband. I like her just fine and one extra is managable. [/quote] So what was all the fuss about?[/quote] I was worried they would actually show up. Since my MIL had to make a fuss about it I the first place.[/quote]
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