Reply to Desperately need DH to step up and it isn’t happening

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Would the pay at these new jobs for you make up the salary for a nanny or live-in help? Or are any of the jobs more flexible (since your last one wasnt) to allow for you to take DC to medical appts?[/quote]

Op here. We have a full time nanny and my mother lives in an ADU on our property. The new jobs are not flexible. My old job is not flexible.

I know the obvious solution is for me to make a boat load of money and outsource our life. But overseeing and coordinating all the outsourcing is also a huge task. I just simply can’t do it anymore. I tried. I have been drugging myself up every morning on adderall, Prozac, and Wellbutrin to drag myself through my day for years now. It got too hard and complex for me too. [/quote]

Wait what? Two additional adults and you work part time and you're still overwhelmed? I don't get it. I think you need to get your meds evaluated.[/quote]

Op here. I’ve only been working part time for the last 2 months. I was working full time up until January of this year and my job was extremely demanding physically and mentally.[/quote]

Ok... But you're not even working 20 hours a week. So two months of that should have given you 20-25 hours a week of non-work, time to recuperate and put things in order. Yet you're still miserable? I think it's time you saw a psychiatrist.[/quote]

Op here. You’re misunderstanding. I like my new job arrangement but it’s not financially sustainable. We are taking on debt every month. I had hoped DH would get a full time job to help make up some of the shortfall but he won’t. I am trying to rent our house out to help make up the shortfall but DH also will not cooperate with that. Professionally my current job is ideal and also very hard to find so I don’t want to give it up. But we have to make massive changes for this to be possible and those changes would require DH to help.

And yeah, I’m working with a psychiatrist already.

Anyway, I am seeing from these replies that my expectation for DH to be a functioning adult is the problem. I need to stop expecting anything at all of him, no matter how minimal.[/quote]

Ok... But I'm still not grasping why, since you have your mom and a nanny, you can only work 15 hrs a week. [/quote]

Op here. Well, my kid has been in the hospital. I listed our house for rent which was a pretty Herculean task (cleaning, declutterring, professional pics, etc., and I did it all myself except for the pics). I’m also interviewing for new jobs. It hasn’t even been two months yet?[/quote]

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