Reply to Daughters are childless and one of the is single, what can we do for them as their parents?

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Reply to "Daughters are childless and one of the is single, what can we do for them as their parents?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have a friend like this; she and her sister are both single and childless in their 40s, despite both being beautiful, brilliant, accomplished, kind and lovely people.

The reason is that their father was a domineering critical overbearing ahole whom their mother tried and failed to leave. Usually when both children don’t marry there is a reason related to the family of origin; so instead of worrying about them, search inside yourself, your marriage and your parenting for why they feel more comfortable alone.[/quote]

My younger sister and I both married at 37ish - I had one child at 39, but was on the fence until about 35 - not because I don’t like children (I actually really like kids and babies), but because I knew it would completely change my world.  My sister is child free - but also likes kids.

Out parents marriage was not one I would want to be in - my father was highly critical and needed everything and everyone in the house to revolve around him.   He also fostered sibling rivalry between my older brother and me.

And he repeatedly expressed the same sentiment you are expressing now.

My mom kept pointing out we were doing incredibly well, we’re perfectly capable of not only taking care of ourselves, but thriving while doing so.

I adore my child, don’t regret her for a hot second.  But I also realized I married a man far too much like my father - as different as he is on paper, and I’m contemplating divorce.

My sister is married to a “scrub” - he’s basically living off of her, and  doesn’t seem to be to “helpful” around the house.  But she’s happy.

So be careful of what you wish for.

Also, the women I know like your daughters are happy, live interesting lives, and are more secure than the vast majority of women with kids I know. [/quote]

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