Reply to S/O is anyone not bothered by the “mental load”?

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Reply to "S/O is anyone not bothered by the “mental load”?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I organize and plan pretty much everything for my family and it doesn’t bother me.  My husband and I work FT - he’s WAH, I’m WOH - about equal hours, but he makes three times what I do.  We have three kids and share most of the housework (just hired cleaners to come every two weeks), but I do all of the cooking and he does all of the laundry.  He does a lot of the hands on parenting while I am the one enrolling in camps, organizing birthday parties, planning vacations etc.  (and also staying on top of our finances).  I’m pretty Type A and a natural planner so it really doesn’t bother me and I don’t feel bogged down by it.  I guess it’s hard for me to understand why some people feel like it’s so intolerable - it’s just part of being an adult! You would have a mental load even if it were just you![/quote]

To me the things you listed are a small and relatively straightforward part of what I consider the mental load of running a family. Staying on top of the laundry so that the soccer jersey is always clean and findable is not fun but you can set up a system. For me the killers are the things that pop up that are both important and urgent and those seem to fall to mom. For example, both my kids see specialists regularly now, which is a pain, but the need for those doctors came out significant situations so I had to drop everything and finding those specialists and coordinate first possible appointments - super stressful and a huge amount of time. Figuring out how to rearrange everything when a child is sick or child care falls through. Medical device breaks and you have to drop everything to get that figured out. I know not everyone has as much of this stuff as we do but everyone has it. Even if it’s just oh I need whatever thing for school tomorrow- who is going to figure that out. That stuff is frustrating. [/quote]

Sorry for your medical issues. I read the OP thinking her family must not have anyone with medical conditions. I have a family member with probably 12 specialists who was waiting for blood work from 3 different doctors this week, plus multiple appointments, devices, medications, etc. The scheduling and number of claims and amount of medical information to keep track of is a lot and it's a ton of time to keep up with it.[/quote]

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