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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The people who answer "not your problem" either haven't been through it, or have no heart.  I'm sorry OP, I don't have answers but I'm sorry you are dealing with this.[/quote]

Here's the way it works:  If you are supporting your in-laws financially, then you and your DH have the right to put them on a budget and help them manage their costs.  You have a right to force them to file for bankruptcy rather than pour your money into a bottomless hole.  They accept your money, they accept your involvement (not necessarily heavy-handed and punitive, but reasonable guidance).  Obviously what they are doing isn't working.  If they refuse to accept your guidance, you keep your money.  I think this goes for adult children and elders who can't manage their money well.

We supported my in-laws for 20 years, but it was on a budget with us paying their rent and them being responsible for all other costs, for instance.  And there was a bankruptcy filing once the elder ran up his credit cards.  Then, no credit cards.  The notion that to "be a good person" you have to just give blindly is ridiculous.  And never during this 20 years did our supporting the in-laws affect our family affording private school and other important things we deemed necessary for our own kids.  My DH got them on Snap and other government programs as appropriate.  The in-laws have lived modestly, but they have been grateful to have someone else take the reins after years of financial worry and strain due to their bad choices.[/quote]

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