Reply to At what point would you introduce serious BF to kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, DCUM hates dating moms. You’re not going to get a realistic answer on this.

I’d say as soon as you think the kids are comfortable knowing you’re dating. I’d mention that first in a theoretical way, like “how would you feel if Mom had a boyfriend?” and talk about that first.

Your kids are teens with their own lives but still need a stable adult and a role model. So how you act in your relationship is setting them up to see how relationships should be.

I’m 41 and dating and the only way I could spend time with my boyfriend on the weekends was to introduce them. I also wanted to see how he was around them. My kids adore him. I am clear that he has his own place, that I still put my kids first, and we have a very healthy relationship - no fighting and we both go to therapy. I am very stable and don’t drag the kids around to boyfriend’s things, it’s the other way around where boyfriend does family things with me and the kids.

I’m of the belief you can’t have too many people love your kids. [/quote]

Thank you. If my own mom had left her abuser and found someone to love her, I would've had better modeling of happier relationships than I do now.

People on this site follow some wackoconservative version of The Rules™. Or at least they want others to do so; who knows what people are like in their real lives.

The idea that mothers (just mothers, right?) are expected to remove any romantic involvement from the picture if their marriage breaks down is rooted in misogyny and slut-shaming. It's fine to date. It's fine to tell your kids, if they're old enough to understand it. And if they see someone loving their mom better than their dad did, GREAT! If he'd been a good role model on that front, he'd still be around. 
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Sure, just keep in mind that the vast majority of kids who are physically and sexually abused are violated by unrelated biological males in the home, who often are mom’s new boyfriend.

Personally I think OP should wait until they are engaged or near engaged but at the very least don’t have him sleeping over. 
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