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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The thing is, OP, a lot of this is child-driven. If a child is going to thrive in high-level sports or math or music or whatever, they have to want it. And the parents have to want it too-- but really talented kids will strongly advocate for being allowed to do the activities. It's not happening because the parents are helicoptering and make the kids do it. It's happening because the kid has the talent and the willingness to work hard, and the parents are willing to do their part. A kid like this will be really, really sad and upset if they don't get to do their thing. Absolutely crushed and disappointed, and will complain constantly and stick out in low-level substitute activities like a sore thumb, and it will not be a good feeling for anyone involved. If your kids weren't advocating for themselves, you have your answer.

The parents do have to do research and have a little foresight to tee up opportunities that their kid isn't aware of. Choosing a school, understanding math sequences, options for supplementing, whatever it may be. But I think "helicopter parent" means you're constantly hovering and micromanaging and controlling the kid. That's really not what this is.[/quote]

This is not true. There are so many kids  who are performing at a top level out of fear of failure and their need for the love and approval of their parents. Parents who made them feel that their love and approval was contingent on their child’s academic performance and/or their ability to excel at whatever extracurricular activity that the parents chose to prioritize.

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