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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel so triggered by these threads because my husband is the one who has withheld sex at various times in the marriage and I genuinely felt at times that he was using it as a bargaining chip.  Where are all these husbands who want sex all the time and how did I end up with this rare bird who doesn’t??!? It’s really not ok to withhold and I feel bad for any man who goes through that.  [b]Even if you are not at your happiest, once you start you can get in the mood[/b].[/quote]

Lol I love how you say this like it's new information to us and that it's some kind of simple solution. "oh geeze if only someone had told me to be open to sex even when I wasn't super aroused maybe my husband and I wouldn't have argued about it for six months." I figured out this basic fact of human sexuality when I was 17. Sorry for what you're going through but you have a simplistic understanding of sex and you should learn more about it.[/quote]

Not pp but you are way overcomplicating it. If you are arguing with your husband and not having sex for 6 months at a time, perhaps you should get to the bottom of what the issue is. It's not normal to not be in a mood for 6 months at a time if you're healthy.[/quote]

You missed my point. [b]My point was that PP has a very shallow understanding of human sexuality if she thinks that the problem is that people are unaware that you can get in the mood after a few minutes of intimacy.[/b] That's so condescending.

You've made a bunch of odd assumptions about my life but you're so far off base it's not worth trying to correct you. 
[/quote]

I don't know, sometimes people do need the reminder that just doing it will often make you feel better about it. Exercise is that way. Intellectually I know that if I just get started, it'll do good things for me - both during, and after exercising. But sometimes that knowledge isn't enough to get me past the inertia. Having someone articulate and reinforce what I already know might help me get past that inertia the next time. [/quote]

No, that comment was like someone who has been a babysitter giving a mom of three a lecture about parenting. Sure, the babysitter could have great advice but it's far more likely to just be condescending.[/quote]

Wow, you're really something. I didn't take that comment as condescending at all. Presumably you're both women who have had sex with your loved ones so I'm not sure how you made the babysitter comparison. And sometimes babysitters have great ideas. [/quote]

I literally said the babysitter could have great advice. The analogy is because PP and I are on different sides of the issue here. [b]I know many things that she does not. [/b]That period of low libido was so hard for me. I read a ton and talked to therapists and I am certain I have more knowledge and experience about how to manage a period of low libido than she does. That's fine if you didn't find it condescending but I bet that you also didn't go through what I did in terms of low libido and trying to crawl out of the situation. [/quote]

Huh? How the hell would you know that I didn't? You talk about me assuming things. I've been on antidepressants for many years (a huge cause of low libido), I've been depressed, pregnant, peri-menopausal, you name it. I just choose to prioritize intimacy in my relationship. It's fine if you don't. But please get off your high horse.[/quote]

I wish my wife prioritized like you. She's too concerned with her own feelings. Or hates me. Those two seem different but they're not.[/quote]

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