Reply to I feel like men always treat me like trash

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Stop doing everything right and going along with it. Men don’t have any respect for women who are kind to them.

This was a hard lesson for me to learn and very difficult for me to implement because I’m a naturally laid back and low maintenance person. But when I did, I started being treated better.

Don’t listen to all the men who are going to say that they don’t like high maintenance, demanding b-ches. They’re lying to you or to themselves. [/quote]

Yep, men like a little difficulty. They also like slightly catty women, despite what they say. [/quote]

No they don’t.  A lot of men can’t stand catty women and don’t want to play games.

Live by the Golden Rule, treat others as you would like to be treated and that includes yourself![/quote]

Don’t listen to this, OP, lol. [b]Be kind but just because you might want someone to something to you doesn’t mean a guy wants that. [/b]

I don’t agree with the catty recommendation though. Even if all men loved catty women (which they don’t), that doesn’t mean a woman should intentionally be catty. It’s morally wrong. And also that’s just swinging back around to desperate (being someone you’re not just to get a guy). [/quote]

What did you mean to write here?  Being kind includes being kind to yourself which includes not letting men dictate all of the terms of your relationship.  Have self respect- this is not hard.[/quote]

Sorry that was unclear. What I mean is it's not necessarily a good idea to treat others the way you want to be treated. Let's say OP wants a guy who brings her flowers regularly, cooks for her, just basically is head over heels (and not in a love-bomb-y way) and isn't afraid to show it. I honestly do think that it's great for a man to be that way. But that doesn't mean it's great for a woman to be that way. For a lot of situations it's probably a bad idea.

I know this sounds way too traditional, and maybe it is. But my life experiences totally support this. Perhaps it's because women have been told their whole lives, explicitly or implicitly, that marriage and kids is the only way to happiness. So sometimes we get really desperate for a partner, any partner! But men don't want to feel like they are just filling an role and are essentially interchangeable. They want to feel like they are loved for the individual they are, and if a woman just easily accepts him into her life, it might, paradoxically, feel like she doesn't see him as special. Ultimately the fact that he has to work to get the girl makes him feel much better about the relationship when he succeeds. The men who are after women who bend over backward to get and keep the guy often don't respect those women as much, and see the situation as an opportunity to use her for what he wants rather than being an upstanding, loving partner.

So if a woman doesn't have high standards for a relationship (and by high standards I don't mean money and height, I mean they want the guy to show respect and an eagerness to demonstrate how much they care), just being "nice" and "kind" is going to backfire.

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