Reply to What is it with people given childless couples unsolicited fertility advice?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "What is it with people given childless couples unsolicited fertility advice?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They're right, you're wrong. Are they rude to say so? Maybe in the moment, sure. It's because we all know what utter despair awaits certain mothers who desperately want children and cannot have them (mothers, because they have miscarriages).

Unless you're homeless, you can always have kids. I have my first in grad school at 25 while our HHI was 60K. We could barely afford daycare, and were extremely frugal in every part of our lives. We cooked from scratch food we bought on sake, never ate out or purchased entertainment, and stayed in a crappy one-bedroom for 10 years saving for a downpayment on a house. We had two kids in that one bedroom.

Now we're wealthy, and I have secondary infertility due to an autoimmune disease. I am so thankful I had my children young!

I know you don't want to hear this, OP, but they're right. They can be both right and rude. [b]And frankly, you need to grow up and deal with the remarks, as well as your own life choices.[/b]

[/quote]

I'm satisfied with my life choices and accept that children might not be in my horizon. I'm just pissed how people who don't know me well give me advice on such a personal topic. Would you like it if relative strangers who don't know anything about your sex life started giving you advice on safe sex or your yeast infection?[/quote]

Ha ha! PP you replied to. I hardly ever take offense, OP, but that would be a hilarious conversation. If you're happy with your life and don't actually care about having children, then you should say so to shut them up. Seems your mistake was to express ambivalence. "Thanks but we're not planning on having kids". My cousin had her first at 36 after 10 years of telling everyone she did not want kids. She's clever, and just wanted some privacy while she figured her life out. She had one miscarriage, then a healthy baby girl. So you can always go that route if you want!

[/quote]

I just tell them that I don't want to discuss the topic. I said that in one of my posts. The people generally don't ask about my plans to have children, which I have no problem replying to. People just learn my age and start telling me about how I should do and have children because fertility. I tll them nicely that it's none of their business.[/quote]

OK? Who cares? People ask all kinds of personal questions to many different types of people. “That’s not something I’m comfortable with discussing” usually does the trick.

Most people are able to move on without crowd sourcing amongst internet randos to second guess the motivations of people making comments. Some people are just more comfortable to give unsolicited advice than you are. Cut them out of your life if it’s too hard to deal with. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics