Reply to Poll - should spouses tell each other about job offers?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Do we have an "obligation" of sorts to bring job offers/discussion to each other, or to each their own to manage their own career and pay?[/quote]

These are 2 different questions -

Does spouse have an obligation of sorts to bring job offers to each other? 
Yes, I’d expect spouse to talk to me if they were looking.

Is up to each person to manage their own career & pay? Also yes.

You are positing these things as an “either/or” situation, which they are not. I think spouse should discuss thoughts about job changes, AND the person making a change should be in charge of the decision making.

Maybe I say this as person with a stable spouse who makes decent decisions. I guess if he were like, hey, I want to quit & go make minimum wage at McDonald’s, I’d maybe feel differently. But even then, if that’s what he really wanted or I wanted, I feel like we’d make it happen.

Maybe the in the dark spouse has a pattern of overstepping bounds (like would demand a say in the decision making, or push the spouse into the job for the 15% increase even though it’s not good for the person’s career)? Maybe spouse has a reason for not mentioning it - bc their spouse has a pattern of trying to take over & make the decision for them.

If you are the in the dark spouse, something to consider - bc the way you set this up as an “either/or” makes me think you could be a spouse with this pattern. 
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