Reply to s/o "I had to change my name because of logistical issues"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've been married 25+ years, never changed my name and [b]our kids have hyphenated names.  [/b]In all that time, in all the travels, schools, places we've been, there's only been 1 time I experienced any difficulty - getting a pool pass at the condo my DH owned and where we lived.

The pool at the condo had opened and, while on maternity leave, walked to the condo office with our 3 year, 18 month old and 2 month old (who was in a sling) to get our pool passes.  They asked to see my drivers' license and I showed them.  It had the address of the condo on it.  They noted my last name was not the same as DH's who was listed as the owner.  I acknowledged that.  They pointed out that I wasn't wearing a wedding ring.  I acknowledged that, too.  They then asked how they were supposed to know we were actually married.  I looked at the three kids, looked back at the person and said, 'Really?  I'm 40 years old with 3 kids.  What are the chances of me trying to scam you for pool passes?  You want me to show you my marriage license?  Even the IRS didn't ask for it when we filed our first joint return."  I got the pool passes. &lt;smh&gt;[/quote]

This is sooo stupid, and the height of selfish / ridiculous self-importance. What if everyone did this? What last name are your kids supposed to give THEIR kids? What if they marry someone whose parents were equally self-indulgent?  [/quote]

Wow. This seems to have triggered you.

PP you’re responding to. It was my DH's choice. The kids could either have my last name, a hyphenated name or we could all change our last name to something else and we'd all have the same last name. He chose to hyphenate.

Selfish/self-indulgent would be not giving equal weight to your partner's preference. You may not have cared if your kids had your last name but I cared. So did DH which is why he chose to hyphenate. He didn't want to change his last name.

As far as what names my kids give their kids, it's up to them. My cousins have hyphenated names (my Aunt kept her last name after marriage after the Supreme Court ruled women didn’t have to take their DH's last name). As adults, some use my Uncle's last name, some use my Aunt's, some still hyphenate, some changed their name upon marriage. Adults get to choose. Not a big deal.[/quote]

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